So this blog post is being written on my pretty awful phone. Expect spelling mistakes and grammatical errors, not because of that, although it's a decent excuse, more because there are always mistakes because I'm too lazy to reread and correct before posting. That and the fact that this blog is always spur of the moment where I type exactly how I feel and rereading it could lead to changes.
It's hard to decide what to write, except that I feel like I am me again. I feel confident, not in an arrogant way, but in a... Confident way. If I see somebody that I want to talk with, I just do it. What's the worst that can happen? Rejection? Oh no... Somebody could say no to me, well shit, stop the press. Let fear control your decisions.
I've always been an overthinker, like why hasn't she text back yet? What should I reply with? What does every little thing mean? The truth is, who really cares? Not as in the, screw everyone, more in the, why worry, why over think? Doing that just prevents you from enjoying moments.
I'm pretty dreadful at replying to people, even though it only takes a second, yet when someone doesn't reply to me I take it personally. As if I am the most important person. Gotta accept it. I'm not!
Realizing this has allowed me to be free, to embrace the moments. To live and love living.
This world is kinda messed up, but it's a beautiful mess. We live in a time where we can contact people, even see them, at anytime! That's awesome but messed up. I miss having things to catch up on when I see people. Instead they want to message all the time and that leaves nothing to say in person. People also suck at committing to things because they are so connected that they're scares of something better coming up that they can't do.
I'm learning to say yes, to as many things as possible. Even if it feels like it could be out of my comfort zone. How else can we learn and not be a jackass that backs out of plans?
I'm not sure what this post is about or why I am writing it. Or why you are even reading it. What's wrong with you? There's nothing interesting here.
But I love to write. I'm doing the standard writer thing of writing two books at the moment and making horribly slow progress. The ideas are there, the plan is there. The words aren't yet. They will be, and you'll probably read it, and may enjoy it. Who knows. I just feel free when I write.
I've met some amazing people recently through just saying hi. They make me better, they give me confidence. They like me for me.
Like you for you. Fuck the mistakes you have made. Every thing in your life, good or bad, has got you to this exact moment, this experience. I don't know about you but I'm.happy with where I am. Sure the journey had mistakes, but without them I wouldn't be hear. Your past got you to this moment. What are you going to do with your present?
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